10 Things you wish you knew Before the Wedding
Once you have said yes to your Mr. Right, and after celebrating the engagement with your family and closest friends, there are a number of things you would need to start looking into. Planning a wedding from scratch can be (and in fact is) pretty overwhelming. We’ve got you covered here with 10 of the most important things to help keep you on track!
SET A BUDGET BEFORE MAKING PLANS
Setting a budget makes you more realistic about the venue choices and wedding options. Not that you cannot go for your dream location or dream gown, but if you dive into confirming the dead-gorgeous dress immediately after the engagement, and you realize it has taken up quite a big sum of money, you might have to cut down on other important wedding items.
Be aware that there are some non-obvious costs such as over-time, transportation & accommodation arrangements, facilities and lighting (mostly for outdoor weddings)…
PROS OF HIRING A WEDDING PLANNER
Some couples might be very chill and reckon they have a lot of time (say a year or two) before the actual wedding date, and decide to only start planning until a later time. Some couples take up everything on their own, from deciding the color theme to liaising with the florists on the specific types of flowers they want.
From previous experiences, there are ALWAYS a great handful of unwanted and unforeseen circumstances you can imagine (i.e. my own hotel kicked me out 2 months before the big day telling me they got booked out for an event when I had already paid for the deposit), a bride certainly does not want to be putting out fire when she is supposed to connect with friends and family while staying happy and pretty for the wedding. Planners come into play to relieve some of the stress in planning, and planners are able to offer experience in logistics coordination and aesthetic advice on putting together a wedding of your dreams.
PUT MORE THOUGHTS INTO WHO YOU WANT TO INVITE
It is understandable you are very excited and ecstatic about the engagement and want to invite your friends from elementary school, middle school, high school, college, colleagues and friends you meet on other occasions. However, after you confirm your wedding venue, you might have second thoughts of whom to invite due to capacity restrictions, type of wedding envisioned (you should have a clearer picture after setting a budget and nailing the venue).
Create more than 1 batch of guest lists: batch 1 being your closest circle, whom you want to be present on your big day without any doubts. Send out invitations to this batch first. Life is not perfect, not all of your closest friends might be able to make it to your wedding; here comes batch 2 - the good-to-have group -friends whom you enjoy their company and it would be great if you can have them share your joy. This method allows you to manage your guest list easier.
DON’T TRY TO PLEASE EVERYONE
You want your family and friends to have fun and enjoy fully, but at the end of the day it is YOUR wedding. It kills the joy of the wedding-planning process and takes away the essence of the celebration if you care too much or over-worry what others think.
Of course you have to take care of your guests: advice or arrange transportation and accommodation for those who travel afar to attend the wedding, make sure there are seats for everyone, make sure there is food, arrange rehearsal dinner or post-wedding activities if you are doing a destination wedding.
Whereas for venues, colors, dresses, flowers - these are all about YOU!
MINIMIZE IN-BETWEEN TIME
If your ceremony and reception are at two different venues, work on minimizing the time gap in between that your guests would not be idle and start to get bored. However, if it is unavoidable, plan entertainment and activities to keep them in high spirits. You can set up an aperitif session, host a photo booth, hire a gelato cart! Be Creative!
SET TIME LIMIT FOR SPEECHES
Sometimes serious speeches take up A LOT OF TIME. Your relatives or parents might want to recall all your childhood memories starting when you were a baby. You do not want to spend a big portion of your evening on it as you would have other exciting plans for the guests; say performances, first dance, video clips… Allow time for planned congratulatory speeches from your parents or bridal party if needed. Do your best to stick to the timeline.
RESOLVE CONFLICT AT EARLY STAGE
Most brides experience conflicts here and there with her parents or future in-laws during wedding planning. Don’t take it personally. We understand it is a tough conversation to have, but the earlier you discuss the better it would be. Thank them first for their contribution and ideas, and follow with a frank explanation why those might not be ideal and how you’d like to resolve the conflicts . Be assertive but not be angry! Win them over with reasons! (Vent your negativity before the talk if you do need to release it out first!)
CHANGING DRESSES TOO OFTEN
It is the time of your life and you would love to be in multiple beautiful dresses for pictures! But it in fact affects the quality of the big day for the bride. It takes at least 10 minutes (assuming you are very agile in changing outfits) to change from one gown to another, and we have not taken into account touch-up time and hair-change time. You would be in a constant rush for the whole day and would not have enough time to mingle with your most treasured people! A maximum of 3 gowns would be recommended.
THINKING TOO HARD ON WEDDING FAVORS
Ask yourself. How often do you remember what wedding favors you have received in a wedding? Usually they are either stuffed in the bottom of your drawer, or they are not even taken home. Either have a brilliant idea that the wedding favor effort would be not put into a waste, or just brush off the idea. You can express your gratitude towards your guests by other means; for example, host an open bar, supply water or a paper fan if it is an outdoor wedding.
REMEMBER WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT
Yes it is one of the biggest milestones in your life and you would want everything to be perfect. But this is just going to be one day of your shared lives together. Remember this and celebrate the day with joy and love!
There are other advice and insights we’d like to share with you! Email us or write your details in the contact form and we are more than happy to chat further!
Best,
Alison
Photo Courtesy of Johnny Productions
